Crankypants
There are several circumstances in my life right now making it more and more difficult to stave off the crankypants mood I've been fighting for a few days. And, since I have no current therapist, and I value my marriage way too much to continue to whine about the same thing over and over to my loving husband, I will tell you, Internet.
But first, let me start by saying that I feel terribly guilty for even feeling cranky, at all. I read the news about Haiti, and I know my life is practically gilded. And yet, feelings are feelings, and I have had enough therapy in the past to know that I need to let them out. So... bring on the complaints.
Milk Supply
About the time my baby decided to have a major growth spurt, my body adjusted to his tiny self and his itty-bitty needs. So, for the past four or five days, we've been struggling with milk supply. I've been trying to keep him satisfied enough so that he will stop fussing between feedings (which happen about every 1 - 1.5 hours). So far, I have failed miserably at that task. I'm pumping and downing fenugreek tablets in order to try to increase supply.
Fussy Baby
Well, duh. He's hungry. We're supplementing him with breastmilk I froze a while back, but it's not an endless supply. Also supplementing too much interferes with his need to feed on me, therefore, interfering with my supply. An endless circle of fuss.
Fleas
4:00AM changing sheets, vacuuming, and scratching until it bleeds. Enough said.
Mice
Not just so much the fact that they exist in our kitchen, but more the fact that one seems to have gotten into the wall and died, stinking up the whole joint like roadkill. Speaking of joints...
Pot-Smoking Neighbor
He knows we have a tiny baby up here and that his smoke gets into our apartment (despite the fact that we covered all of our heat vents and no longer are able to heat our apartment because he won't stop smoking). And yet, he continues. Which leads me to...
Cold Apartment
We can only use two rooms of our house because the others are way too cold for baby. This makes our 1000 sq ft apartment into about a 200 sq ft hovel. It feels very confining. Which leads me to...
Rain
I love rainy weather, but don't have anything waterproof in which to take the little one out. So, we've been stuck inside almost the entire week, so far... with the fleas and roadkill and pot-smoking-son-of-a-bitch.
Lady Business
It's still not healed and mighty painful making me wonder if I will ever be a whole woman again.
Baby Finger Infection
The poor baby has come down with a finger infection. The whole tip of the finger is red and swollen and warm to the touch. The pediatric nurse said to soak it in warm water with antibacterial soap for 10 minutes several times a day. Has she ever met a 10 week old baby?
Out-of-Town-Husband
The love of my life has been out of town since Monday. The baby misses him and has been fussier for that reason (along with the milk thing). Baby sleeps less, mommy sleeps less, and friend who's here helping sleeps less than all of us because she's washing pump bottles at 3am while I'm trying to get back to sleep. So, thank you, Lisa, for helping out! And to my darling husband, when you read this... we love you very much. We never want to be away from you again. And not just because you change the poopy diapers. Thank you for finding us a new home far from all this cranky-making.
And, the baby just began fussing, so it's time to feed him again, and frankly, that's my favorite part of any day. I just love bonding with him. So, I guess that, overall, I'm one of the luckiest people I know.
But first, let me start by saying that I feel terribly guilty for even feeling cranky, at all. I read the news about Haiti, and I know my life is practically gilded. And yet, feelings are feelings, and I have had enough therapy in the past to know that I need to let them out. So... bring on the complaints.
Milk Supply
About the time my baby decided to have a major growth spurt, my body adjusted to his tiny self and his itty-bitty needs. So, for the past four or five days, we've been struggling with milk supply. I've been trying to keep him satisfied enough so that he will stop fussing between feedings (which happen about every 1 - 1.5 hours). So far, I have failed miserably at that task. I'm pumping and downing fenugreek tablets in order to try to increase supply.
Fussy Baby
Well, duh. He's hungry. We're supplementing him with breastmilk I froze a while back, but it's not an endless supply. Also supplementing too much interferes with his need to feed on me, therefore, interfering with my supply. An endless circle of fuss.
Fleas
4:00AM changing sheets, vacuuming, and scratching until it bleeds. Enough said.
Mice
Not just so much the fact that they exist in our kitchen, but more the fact that one seems to have gotten into the wall and died, stinking up the whole joint like roadkill. Speaking of joints...
Pot-Smoking Neighbor
He knows we have a tiny baby up here and that his smoke gets into our apartment (despite the fact that we covered all of our heat vents and no longer are able to heat our apartment because he won't stop smoking). And yet, he continues. Which leads me to...
Cold Apartment
We can only use two rooms of our house because the others are way too cold for baby. This makes our 1000 sq ft apartment into about a 200 sq ft hovel. It feels very confining. Which leads me to...
Rain
I love rainy weather, but don't have anything waterproof in which to take the little one out. So, we've been stuck inside almost the entire week, so far... with the fleas and roadkill and pot-smoking-son-of-a-bitch.
Lady Business
It's still not healed and mighty painful making me wonder if I will ever be a whole woman again.
Baby Finger Infection
The poor baby has come down with a finger infection. The whole tip of the finger is red and swollen and warm to the touch. The pediatric nurse said to soak it in warm water with antibacterial soap for 10 minutes several times a day. Has she ever met a 10 week old baby?
Out-of-Town-Husband
The love of my life has been out of town since Monday. The baby misses him and has been fussier for that reason (along with the milk thing). Baby sleeps less, mommy sleeps less, and friend who's here helping sleeps less than all of us because she's washing pump bottles at 3am while I'm trying to get back to sleep. So, thank you, Lisa, for helping out! And to my darling husband, when you read this... we love you very much. We never want to be away from you again. And not just because you change the poopy diapers. Thank you for finding us a new home far from all this cranky-making.
And, the baby just began fussing, so it's time to feed him again, and frankly, that's my favorite part of any day. I just love bonding with him. So, I guess that, overall, I'm one of the luckiest people I know.
posted by Bert at 8:44 AM
3 Comments:
Well, as cliche as it sounds, it DOES get easier. Promise!
And I wish you all the luck in the world with the nursing bit. Just keep pumping and nursing and downing fenugreek.
Hoping your other half gets home soon!
oh goodness...so sorry about all of this. all i can say is "ugh" and "yes, it will get better".
i hate having aaron gone for a few hours at night...i shudder to imagine how i would react if he was gone for days at a time. i'd be a pile at the end of it, for sure. thankfully you have a little bit of help!
Just reading this now and so glad you are out of that apartment, even though in so many ways it was such a great apartment. Too bad that jerk had to ruin it for you.
Yikes about the lady biz thing -- if that still bothers you when you get there hope you can find a good OB right away because that should not be hurting anymore!
And finally, better get a plastic cover for your stroller in your new town -- I hear it just might rain from time to time there, lol! I like the ones that are less stiff and more soft, pliable plastic -- easier to drape over it without having to be a very specific fit. I had the more stiff one, but still, I used it ALL THE TIME back in the SF days. Another technique is to borrow your hubby's rain coat and just wear the whole shebang over the sling, Bjorn, whatever -- I just went to school pickup like that friday because it was like, 5 degrees out, and not only did everyone think Toth was sooooo cute with his head poking out of Epu's coat, it felt like I had a nice hot water bottle in there.
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