Flat Daddy
I read a disturbing news article today. It's about a program that Maine has for its deployed Army National Guard troops' families. Basically, the government pays to have a photo of a soldier enlarged. Then, they provide the family of this soldier with foam board and other supplies in order to create a life-sized foam cut out of their husband/father/son/brother. The program is called "Flat Daddy". (The Army National Guard will also make a "Flat Mommy".)
Now, I do understand the idea of easing the pain of separation by having a reminder of the loved one with the family. Families in the article report that the Flat Daddy helped with the transition from whole family to fragmented household. I don't mean to minimize any soothing effects of having a cardboard cutout of a loved one hanging around the dinner table. These families have no choice but to make do with what they can. I applaud them for their continued courage in facing such a terrible situation.
What I think is disturbing is that the United States sends thousands of soldiers to the middle east each year. That means thousands of families are doing without one or more of their members. I'm a strong believer that family is important, not only for an individual's well-being, but also on a larger scale. A society is built of smaller communities. Those communities are made up of families. If the families in question aren't functioning happily... if they are stressed by the absence of an integral member (or further, by the fact that said member could be in mortal danger each day), the community begins to break down. Eventually, the society starts to crumble gradually.
The part of this article that I find most heart-wrenching is this: "Kevin, then 3, was angry that his father was gone and wouldn't speak to him when he called home from Tikrit, Sherri Fish said." This same child eventually began talking to his Flat Daddy, which his mother had hung on his bedroom door. Now that his father is back, Kevin continues talking to Flat Daddy. The article frames it as a sweet, quirky kid thing to do. In my field, that's seen as some seriously maladaptive behavior, which is a clear sign that the trauma of losing his father for nearly a year might stick with him and manifest itself later in his life. We're creating a generation of children with Reactive Attachment Disorder.
I'm irate that the current administration doesn't see how not only ridiculous, but also damaging this war has become. My hearts go out to those who are missing loved ones because of war. Any war. Anywhere.
Now, I do understand the idea of easing the pain of separation by having a reminder of the loved one with the family. Families in the article report that the Flat Daddy helped with the transition from whole family to fragmented household. I don't mean to minimize any soothing effects of having a cardboard cutout of a loved one hanging around the dinner table. These families have no choice but to make do with what they can. I applaud them for their continued courage in facing such a terrible situation.
What I think is disturbing is that the United States sends thousands of soldiers to the middle east each year. That means thousands of families are doing without one or more of their members. I'm a strong believer that family is important, not only for an individual's well-being, but also on a larger scale. A society is built of smaller communities. Those communities are made up of families. If the families in question aren't functioning happily... if they are stressed by the absence of an integral member (or further, by the fact that said member could be in mortal danger each day), the community begins to break down. Eventually, the society starts to crumble gradually.
The part of this article that I find most heart-wrenching is this: "Kevin, then 3, was angry that his father was gone and wouldn't speak to him when he called home from Tikrit, Sherri Fish said." This same child eventually began talking to his Flat Daddy, which his mother had hung on his bedroom door. Now that his father is back, Kevin continues talking to Flat Daddy. The article frames it as a sweet, quirky kid thing to do. In my field, that's seen as some seriously maladaptive behavior, which is a clear sign that the trauma of losing his father for nearly a year might stick with him and manifest itself later in his life. We're creating a generation of children with Reactive Attachment Disorder.
I'm irate that the current administration doesn't see how not only ridiculous, but also damaging this war has become. My hearts go out to those who are missing loved ones because of war. Any war. Anywhere.
posted by Bert at 5:33 PM
3 Comments:
I just they start offering Flat Daddy commercially, so I can have one made of Epu for all those nights when he's working late. You're right, the whole thing is so bizarre and surreal that it doesn't hit you immediately how fucking sad it is.
I just do not know how these mothers cope. My grandfather was in the Navy when my mom and her little brother were small, and he went on six month tours of duty on the ship. I just cannot imagine holding my shit together for six months alone with Nutmeg, much less when the second one comes along.
I just HOPE, I meant to say in that first sentence.
I made the mistake of telling Erik and some guests all about Flat Daddy in front of Nutmeg, and now she won't stop talking about it. "Is our daddy a Flat Daddy?" No, I keep telling her, your daddy is on the round side.
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