What a Gas

I just went with a friend to see the Paul Taylor Dance Company perform. It was a great modern dance show, and I would recommend it. But during the performance, the weirdest thing kept happening. It started when we first sat down and began chatting before the show. Suddenly, my chair vibrated a little. I checked my phone. Nope. Huh. I pondered momentarily and quickly forgot about it.

During the first act, I noticed it again. What the heck? I looked around. Friend to my right. Big guy filling up the whole chair to my left. No one else seemed to have noticed it. It happened repeatedly, but I had no clue as to what might be causing it. Having no other choice, I ignored it the best I could manage.

During the second act, I noticed the big guy on my left shifted a little in his seat each time my seat vibrated. What was that all about?

Then, I smelled it.

No kidding. He was farting all the way through the performance. He'd lean a little to his left and let one rip... causing my seat to vibrate from the force of his intestinal gas. I was dumbfounded.

Manners, people. Manners.